Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Low Expectation Leads To Nice Surprises

I want to relate another true story. Hehe can be a storyteller already.

We had a colleague who was our lunch mate for many years, more than 10 years. Then one day she was on long MC, so out of concern another colleague asked her the reason for her absence. Her reply was 'Sorry confidential, for close friends only'

My friend was shocked and disappointed to hear this answer. Me too.

After more than 10 years of colleague eating lunch and chit chatting during lunch times, sometimes a drink after office hours, we are nothing more than colleagues? Are we not close friends? This reminds me of a movie 'Sleeping with the Enemy' is a 1991 psychological thriller film directed by Joseph Ruben and starring Julia Roberts and Patrick Bergin. Am I 'Eating Lunch with the Enemy'?

Do you classify your friendship by the different category?
close friend
best friend

Someone I knew told me 'yes' they do have different classification of friendship.
Am I thinking too much?
Why are there so much segregation?

I try to think of an explanation to this, and find that its all about expectation.

I remember a time, my daughter asked my wife why she is harsher to them but nicer to stranger or neighbour? Ever wonder why your family members eg parents, especially wife haha are harsher to you or your kids but are nicer to strangers? Its because of the thing called 'expectation'. Along the years, because of closer ties and relationship, your family members expect more from you, their standard given to you are raised.

So, after so many years of 'friendship' with my lunch mate or colleague, some of us began to have expectations from our colleagues or may have 'upgraded' them as 'close friends'. Sometimes we expect others to treat us the same as friends. But not so. You treat them as friends doesn't mean they will do the same to you.

So what does it got to do with stocks?

Yes, there is.

When you buy a stock what was your inital expectation? Just to collect dividend, capital gain or waiting for that privatisation? Maybe after many years, your expectation of that stock have growth. Eg Your initial expectation is only to collect dividend. But your expectation had silently growth to capital appreciation, stock bonus, takeover, privatisation, etc and you keep holding on to it to fullfil your high expectation. But does it mean to do all that you had expected?

Another example, if you buy a stock because it was under valued but it is now grossly over valued. Do you hold on to it as you start to expect it to do more than that?

For an undervalued penny stock, investors and big boys usually do not monitor it and have low expectations. Sometimes, a slightly better news can produce very positive results :)

So was it wrong to have high expectation? No.. not at all. We just need to manage it. Eg sad to say some colleague will just stay as 'colleague' and cannot be advanced to 'friend' status. Some stocks are just dividend stocks, not much capital gain. Some stock can only have capital gain and pay little or no dividend.

High expectation will lead to disappointment and low expectation will lead to nice surprises.

Set your initial expectation as what it meant to be and whatever received after that is considered bonus :)
Then you will be a much happier man or woman :)


  1. Jimmy L,

    Sure, now you tell me got wife and daughter...

    I was thinking why is this underage Cherry Boy reading my blog?

    OK, no need to put an RA rating on my blog liao ;)

    P.S. Colleagues are competition; friends are friends.

    1. haha
      sorry didnt intro myself properly
      actually my nickname is jimmyboy haha
      so i am still a 'boy'

      so sad so colleagues are still colleagues means no chance to advance to friends
      just like girlfriend with Platonic friendship cannot be wife haha

  2. Hi Jimmy,

    Actually colleague and close friend might be different. You only eat lunch and have coffee with colleagues and normally don't reveal a lot of personal details. Some like to keep the 2 groups separated...

    1. Hi Jes
      ahh an expert in this field judging by your blog posts usually touching on personal matters

      colleagues wore masks and seems to have darker side
      but how about colleagues eating lunch for 10 years?
      guess i am still the nice old sentimental guy who thought we were friends but i was dead wrong. i no longer talk about my personal matters to them though i used to. hmm come to think about it i noticed they keep quiet regarding their families etc. got 1 guy i dont even know he got any bro or sis or whether his parents were still around. cause he never talk about them. feeling foolish now haha

  3. Hi Jimmy,

    Years known does not equate closer friendship. My mom works in the same company and have the same colleagues for over 30 years but she does not classify them as close friends.

    I think the term do not shit and eat at the same place also applies here. No one like to reveal their 'dirty laundry' in the work place. I also like to keep work and my personal life separate.

    1. So sad everyday we talk joke laugh with one lanother but it's on the superficial level
      It's not complain or washing dirty laundry but just sharing our inner or real thoughts and not fake it
      Looks like I am naive haha
      Am I the only kind?

  4. Hi Jimmy,

    Men wear masks. Ladies wear makeups.
    Colleagues are competitors in the Office Survivor Game. So, you don't show your inner feelings (底牌) to your colleagues. Haha.


    1. Hi Farmer
      thanks for dropping by
      it took me close to 20 years to realise that 'colleagues are colleagues" haha
      guess i am not a good office politics player in the corporate world haha
      we seem to have a unanimous answer here:
      be a good poker player and dont reveal your 底牌 (last card). guess i am not a poker player too haha

  5. Hi Jimmy,

    Let alone colleagues, some so called friends behave this way too! It helps then to identify and filter so that not much resources is spent on this group. Focus on those few really good one.

    Also remember sometimes not the person may not meant what he/she says or express entirely.. some people EQ just lower and need to go for class. :-)

    1. ahh good ones need to maintain the friendship and it takes 2 to clap. we have to give enough trust and confide in them.

      how do we make new friends if we always kept secret about our inner thoughts and trust?

      some people are born to have low EQ or very direct people. no use to attend course. best is to avoid them